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Sex/Pornography

Why Fasting Matters for Us During Lent

During this wonderful season of Lent, many of us turn our attention to the discipline of fasting. Similar to making New Year’s resolutions, many of us decide to give something up for Lent. As a child, I remember wondering why we were called to refrain from meat, candy, or whatever during the 40 days before…

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The Four Virtues and The Role of Grace in Our Recovery

In a recent discussion on how to develop virtuous habits to combat negative ones connected with sexual sin, I was introduced to the four cardinal virtues, which are prudence, courage, temperance, and justice. Each of these virtues can help us live moral lives. Following the discussion, I continued to ponder what I liked about my…

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5 Strategies for Overcoming an Addiction to Porn and Masturbation

Before discussing five strategies that help me stay clean with regard to porn and masturbation, let me start by explaining that nothing short of the grace and mercy of God ever worked in helping me experience victory over this ongoing battle, which spanned over 40 years. Only God can ultimately free us.  I’ve spent a…

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Caught in the Hands of a Loving God

Those of us who have fought the battle of habitual sin often times have had difficulty with the feelings and consequences of being caught in our sins. When we think back to the story of Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden, after the Fall, we recall that they hid themselves because they saw…

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Learning to Trust in God Through Prayer

I remember a conversation that I had with my dad years ago. He said, “I don’t think I pray good.” He and I never really had these types of conversations, so I was taken by surprise. He prayed before meals, went to church, recited the rosary. And I pointed these things out to him. He…

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How the Lord’s Prayer Reveals the Key to God’s Mercy

Over the past two years, I have had many people ask me to explain what finally freed me from pornography. As I have pondered this question, I have come to appreciate that the freedom was not found through a practice, discipline, program, therapeutic intervention, “magic pill,” or anything else. It was found in a growing…

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How Scripture and Prayer Helped Me Overcome My Sexual Addictions

One of the keys to moving away from habitual sin is spending time daily with Scripture and in prayer. Most of us have heard this for years and our immediate response might be, “I don’t have time.” I felt this way 10 years ago. But I can tell you today, as I enjoy over three…

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Lust and Love: Two Sides of the Same Coin

Recently, I have been reflecting on how my porn addiction began in the first place. This took me back to a dark place in my life during college, when I had broken up with who I thought was the love of my life, which left me directionless and unstable. I had no passion for what…

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Theology of the Body and Recovering from the Harm of Pornography

“Every man who enters a brothel is looking for God.” This quote, attributed to G.K. Chesterton, is one of the foundational concepts of Saint John Paul II’s “Theology of the Body,” which is a collection of talks the pope gave on human sexuality. Theology of the Body (TOB) teaches that in the Garden of Eden…

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Allowing God—Not Us!—To Order Our Steps Out of Addiction

As I started looking back on my grace-filled release from my porn addiction, I tried to understand and explain to others my escape route. Many have asked me over the last two years what the “secret” is. After almost 40 years of being trapped, now being at the point of no longer fearing my next…

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