Lately, I have been having dreams of my high school years. Many of these years involve specific memories of my failures on the gridiron. Missed tackles. Blown assignments. Not giving enough effort. The inevitable fear that I always played with. Being screamed at by...
When I first walked through the doors of a 12-step meeting over 13 years ago I was hopeless, helpless, and desperate for a change. It was by far the hardest and best thing I ever did and I immediately felt accepted in a room full of complete strangers. 30 days earlier...
Before discussing five strategies that help me stay clean with regard to porn and masturbation, let me start by explaining that nothing short of the grace and mercy of God ever worked in helping me experience victory over this ongoing battle, which spanned over 40...
In my last article, I talked about “attachment” as a common thread among addiction, psychology, and spirituality. Attachment in all of these areas is about relationships, whether spiritual (God and the human being), psychological (mother and child), or...
My first sponsor in SAA (Sex Addicts Anonymous) formed a relationship with me that included doing step work, but also included other activities not related to recovery. Seeing my youth, strength, and a willingness to help, he once asked me to come to his house in...
Scripture tells us, “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom” (Proverbs 9:30). Too often, when we think of or talk about God, we speak of a being who is meek and mild. We see Him as completely approachable, and that there is nothing to fear in approaching Him....
The snow falls quietly. And slowly all is covered and blanketed in whiteness. The cold of winter is in the air, and it gets in your bones when outside. There is the anticipation of the holidays and all of the hopes and dreams of Christmas that come with the onset of...
I’ve confronted addiction from several directions in my life: as a therapist treating people in recovery, as a codependent in an alcoholic family, and as a Catholic man trying to discern God’s will and action in the midst of the fear, rage, and despair that addiction...
Reflecting upon my first Thanksgiving in recovery brings some vivid memories of a time in my life that was clearly full of grace. It had been about a month and a half since my last drink or use of any mind-altering drugs, and the fog that had been occupying space in...
I never wanted to stop drinking. I loved to drink. I realized I was an alcoholic in my 20s when I was in school in New York. I remember telling this to my brother, to which he responded, “You think?” I grew up in a middle-class home in northern Virginia. My parents...