Read Part 1 and Part 2 of this series.
In the second part of our reflections on Saint Augustine and 12-step recovery, we examined how and why Augustine submitted himself entirely to the care of God as Augustine had come to know Him in his dramatic and grace-filled conversion. Additionally, we saw the importance for Augustine in making a deep reflection on his own shortcomings and what led him to live as he did before finding freedom in God. With newfound humility and clarity, Augustine begins making amends and moving forward in true freedom.
Freedom—that is the glorious prize for those of us who are able to work the Twelve Steps that are inherently spiritual and deal with the whole human person. Indeed, breaking free from addictions, compulsions, and unhealthy attachments is only the beginning! Having found a way of life that safeguards one from those past habits and addictions, we enter into a new life of freedom to do good. Augustine gets at this with his commentary on Psalm 32: “The spiritual man judges all things, but is himself to be judged by no one. He has freedom, and it is not a liberty to sin, but to do good.”
As Augustine points out, freedom is a capacity directed toward some good; we become free to truly live in charity and love others, bringing them to the light of truth! In using this freedom that is proper to the human person, namely to serve others in love, we find deep fulfillment and meaning. Bill Wilson highlights this truth in the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous: “Practical experience shows that nothing will so much insure immunity from drinking as intensive work with other alcoholics. It works when other activities fail.” There’s something about the exercise of freedom properly directed toward the good that keeps us free from those past addictive chains of slavery.
Anything being used or taken up in any action that is contrary to its nature is not truly free. When we’re hampered by obsessive thinking about our next drink or indulgence, we’re not living in accord with our nature, which has been designed to freely love and serve. When we’re hungover or crushed by withdrawal symptoms that we cannot function, we’re not living in accord with our nature, which has been designed to freely bring the grace of God to others.
Yet, when we have been liberated from the depths of misery, self-contradiction, and interior turmoil, we cannot help but tell others what, or who, has made us free. We go out to bring as many others to freedom as possible. This is exactly what Augustine did. He was one of the most talented rhetoricians and thinkers of his time, and using his natural gifts combined with God’s grace, he wrote countless sermons, treatises, books, commentaries, and exhortations all in the service of charity. This was only possible because of the freedom he had gained through Christ. Augustine never ceased to thank God for the gift of this freedom: “What shall I render to the Lord for all the benefits He has given me? My whole being speaks and says: ‘I am thankful, O Lord.’”
Let’s conclude with the following reflection by Augustine in his Confessions:
“This is the fruit of my confessions concerning what I am, not what I have been, confessing these words not only before you in secret exultation with trembling and secret sorrow with hope but also in the ears of believing sons of men who are sharers in my joy, partners in my mortality, my fellow citizens, and my fellow pilgrims, who have gone before or will follow after as companions on my way. These are your servants, my brethren, whom you have willed to be your sons; these are my masters, whom you have commanded me to serve if I should live with you and upon you. But this your Word would have done little if it were to command only by speaking and not by actively doing. So, this too will I do in deed and word, doing so under your wings, though how great would be my peril if my soul were not submissive to you under your wings and my infirmity made known to you. I am a little one, but my Father lives forever and my Guardian is sufficient for me. For he who begot me also defends me, and you are yourself all my good, yes, you, Almighty One, who are with me, indeed before I am with you. Therefore, to those whom you have commanded me to serve I will now reveal not what I have been but rather what I now am and what I yet am.”
Augustine beautifully summarizes the healing journey of recovery that begins when we entrust ourselves entirely to the care of God, recognizing the limitations of our fallen human nature and finding refuge in a community bonded by charity. The 12-step model for recovery offers us a path similar to the one Augustine walked, allowing us to strive toward a brighter future with the peace and freedom that God truly wants for us.
Michael currently serves as the Assistant Director of Admissions for Sacred Heart Major Seminary and has spent the majority of his professional career working to form the Catholic laity, drawing on the Church’s spiritual and intellectual tradition. He is active in his recovery community in Detroit and lives on a small homestead with his wife Alyssa and four children.