On my night table sits a small figurine of Saint Joseph sleeping. Over time, the figurine has become a symbol of safety for me. Each night before I go to sleep, I glance at it, pray, and let my heart rest.
This is not how I used to feel about father figures.
My relationship with my earthly father was deeply broken. From an early age, I experienced neglect, abandonment, and abuse. My relationship with him was dysfunctional and damaging, and for years, the word “father” felt empty—just a blank space in my mind and heart.
When I came to faith at age 21, I heard people speak of God as a “Heavenly Father.” But that title didn’t comfort me. It felt foreign to me and I couldn’t attach any warmth or trust to it.
Years later, after becoming Catholic, I began to learn more about Saint Joseph, not just as a figure in the Nativity, but as a man who was strong, faithful, and devoted to his family. As my trust in him grew, I began to imagine what it would feel like to have him speak to my younger self, the little girl who had to be strong far too soon. Out of that reflection has come a song I created called “Saint Joseph’s Song.”
One of the verses makes me think of his life as a carpenter: “Built a life with wood and stone.” “Wood and stone” tells of his daily work and his stability as a father figure. His love for his family was steadfast. The love he had for Jesus is the love he extends to us as a spiritual father. We can trust him.
Other verses in the song capture the tenderness I imagine Saint Joseph offering like a gentle father to the wounded parts of myself:
You don’t have to be so strong,
You’ve been carrying too much too long.
Come sit with me, the day is done—
No need to talk, my little one.
These words touch the deepest part of me, the little girl who had to grow up quickly and who didn’t have a safe lap to crawl into at the end of a hard day. The thought of a father figure saying, “I’ll stay with you” and “You’re safe with me, no need to fear” has been healing in ways I can’t fully describe.
In recovery, I’ve learned to let myself be reparented by God through the spiritual fatherhood of Saint Joseph and the motherly care of the Blessed Mother. Together, they’ve shown me a safe, constant, and protective love. Saint Joseph models for me the fatherly presence I longed for as a child. And slowly, through grace, I’ve come to believe that I am worth staying for.
If you’d like to hear the full song, you can listen to it here.
Chloe was born and raised Catholic and attended Alateen during her youth. Now an adult child of alcoholics, she has rediscovered the transformative power of 12-step recovery through Adult Children of Alcoholics (ACA) and Catholic in Recovery meetings. After many years as an Evangelical Christian, she felt a renewed call to the Catholic faith, drawn by the Blessed Mother, the saints, and the inspiring example of a close friend.