On occasion, I’m asked by a CIR newcomer, “How did you find recovery”? This person in active addiction is usually looking for a silver bullet to take down those “werewolves” of addictions, compulsions, and unhealthy attachments. A full answer to such a question, in my case, involves my meandering through 50 years of trial and error. While the Twelve Steps were key to my healing, they were not enough by themselves. I also needed the power of the sacraments, an idea that is highlighted in The Twelve Steps and the Sacraments. CIR also helped greatly, but, again, that alone wasn’t enough.
What worked for me was a fully integrated plan of recovery and holiness. You might call this a “Catholic Plan of Life” or “Rule of Life.” It’s an approach that integrates every element of our lives, offering a “surround sound” experience that shapes all aspects of our being. It’s a holistic way of living that has roots in Catholic monastic life.
Setting the Right Goal & Foundation
Shaping a plan of recovery and holiness must begin with having the correct goal in mind. Our goal should not be to merely strive for freedom from addictions, compulsions, and unhealthy attachments. Rather, our goal should be to attain perfect happiness and holiness through union with God. Of course, finding freedom is a necessary step toward that ultimate goal, but we need to recall that the point of being detached from such unhealthy behaviors and substances is so that we can fully attach ourselves to our true end: God.
To achieve such a goal, not only must we set aside time for our recovery by attending meetings, meeting regularly with our sponsor, reading recovery literature, serving others in recovery fellowships, working the Twelve Steps, and so on, but also for our spiritual life. This means we must firmly establish time for prayer every day, even if that’s only a little bit to start. It’s better to do a little than nothing at all. Prayer is essential. As a general rule, by giving God more prayer time, God returns more time back to us. This might mean rising earlier or setting time aside before bed. We can ask God to help us structure our days and find the time for what’s necessary and the strength to release what isn’t.
Further, we should regularly attend Mass, frequent the Blessed Sacrament in adoration, and go to Confession. Daily spiritual reading can also be a great way to meditate and deepen our Catholic faith. By setting time aside to work on our recovery and faith, we build an integrated plan of recovery and holiness.
Healing the Mind-Body Connection
Our mind and body may have been deeply affected by our addictive behaviors, harming our physical bodies and altering our brain chemistry. Such addictive patterns can create disorders in the mind-body connection, which can be partially remedied through proper nutrition, regular exercise, and healthy recreation. The practice of mortification, or the disciplining of our impulses, can help bring healing as well. We should also ask God in prayer to reveal ingrained negative thoughts and collaborate with His grace to replace them with good and healthy ones. In certain cases, we might need the professional help of a therapist to help heal and restore our minds and bodies.
Continual Reflection, Support, & Service
An integrated plan of recovery and holiness requires that we remain perpetual learners. We should continue to read about how addiction works, Catholic teachings and practices, ways we can respond better to God’s will, and so on. We should also reflect on our own lives often, perhaps writing down insights in a journal or notebook that we can later reference. By writing down our successes, failures, and spiritual insights, over time, our journal can become a treasury of knowledge.
Additionally, a support network is one of the most powerful and life-changing elements of recovery and faith. For myself, finding a community of devoted Catholics in Catholic in Recovery meetings opened a path to healing in unprecedented ways. Recovery and CIR meetings offer a great place to start building a network of support, one that should include accountability partners, a sponsor, a spiritual director, a confessor, a therapist (if needed), and Catholic friends from our parish or fellowship groups. However, let’s not forget our spiritual support network, including the saints, angels, the Blessed Mother and, of course, Jesus Christ. They are a constant reminder that we are never alone.
In receiving the support of others, we are also called to support others. The highest good we can achieve in life is growing in love of God and neighbor. Addiction misdirects love and becomes idolatry, causing us to inordinately love our substance, pleasure, or escape. Healing begins when we replace that disordered love with the love of God and His people. However, being generous with our time in service to others is how we can manifest God’s love.
The Way of Perfection
Embracing an integrated plan of recovery and holiness means striving to be perfect as God is perfect. This might sound intimidating. Shouldn’t we follow the recovery advice of “progress, not perfection?” Yes, but only if we understand it to mean that we should accept making progress today toward eventual perfection (a perfection that will come only from the grace of God if we remain faithful to Him). We don’t pretend we are perfect now, or become discouraged that we aren’t. But we also don’t let this be an excuse to abandon our ultimate goal of achieving spiritual perfection by the grace of a God for whom nothing is impossible.
Saint Ambrose offers a wonderful quote on how we can strive toward holiness: “The soul of the just man, therefore, must be in training night and day, ever on the lookout, never indulging in sleep but on perpetual watch, intent on God, so as to understand the things that are and to comprehend the causes of each.”
This is a beautiful and clear summary of our task. We must “be in training night and day” and not become sleepy and complacent. This is especially true when we’ve been sober or in recovery for some time, where we might be tempted to become lax and lose focus. Yet, a person can be perfectly sober and still lose his soul. Rather, we must stay “intent on God “ in order to understand the causes of “the things that are.” In other words, we must strive to grasp reality as it truly is. It’s only in accepting reality as it truly is that we can both truly understand God’s will and then act in accordance with it.
So, how can we embrace an integrated plan of recovery and holiness? Getting started is the most difficult step. Yet, once we begin to practice it and try to do so every day, God will faithfully carry us the rest of the way toward freedom, holiness, and, eventually, perfection.
Bill B. is a grateful Catholic in recovery from sex and love addiction with over two years of sobriety. Jesus lifted him out of a chronic, decades-long addiction through the loving community of brothers and sisters in Christ at CIR. He is currently working on certification for life coaching and taking classes in philosophy, patrology, and theology of the Blessed Virgin Mary.