For a long period of time in my own recovery, I found myself trapped in a “plateau” of sorts. I would fall, go to Confession, and be good for about a week. Hardly would a temptation enter my mind, then suddenly it was like a switch was flipped, and I would fall again. It was the most troubling and discouraging time of my recovery.
I noticed a similar pattern in the men I work with. They would go a week without falling, and then they would fall to lust-related sin, though with no particularly good explanation as to why. No advice or daily practices seemed to prevent it.
If you can relate to the cycle, then the devil unfortunately has you under his thumb; he’s playing a game with you. He knows you’re likely to keep going back to Confession, but he’s also willing to bet you don’t have the resolve to keep it up for the rest of your life. Satan knows all he needs to do is give you a few days of peace and quiet without temptation, then catch you off guard when you’re feeling good about yourself. In my own life, I have certainly felt the temptation to just let it all go and return to my former way of life. The fight against addiction is hard, but it’s not impossible.
Sometimes, when I’m feeling particularly weakened, I adopt a three-day plan for revamping my spiritual life and recovery. The idea is to deprive ourselves of nearly all material pleasures to strengthen our spiritual defenses. However, simply depriving our body will not feed our soul. Therefore, we must also make an effort to increase our prayer and discipline during these days. In other words, these three days should have us intensify our penance, prayer, and discipline.
Penance
In the words of Saint Augustine, “Fasting cleanses the soul, raises the mind, subjects one’s flesh to the spirit, renders the heart contrite and humble, scatters the clouds of concupiscence, quenches the fire of lust, and kindles the true light of chastity” (Sermon 207). Fasting can be extremely effective. I usually do a “Good Friday fast” (one full meal and up to two smaller meals that don’t equal a full meal combined) over the course of these three days, but this is not the only way to fast or do penance.
I would also recommend fasting from technology as much as possible (excluding work and communication), especially if it’s a sexual sin or compulsion that you struggle with. Other ways of fasting include abstaining from food seasonings, caffeine, hot showers, secular music, cologne/perfume, all drinks except water, etc. The goal of these three days is to quiet our senses and passions, so it’s imperative to compromise as little as possible.
Prayer
The next critical piece is prayer. Fasting and penance are completely meaningless without prayer. It should be our goal to substantially increase our time spent in prayer during these three days. I would encourage you to run to Our Lady, your personal patron, your guardian angel, and the Most Sacred Heart of Jesus; they will give you the strength and the grace you need to persevere. They can bring us comfort in times of despair or temptation.
The prayers that I have personally found to be the most strengthening and fruitful are the Rosary and the Rosary of the Seven Sorrows (one of the promises of which is freedom from addiction). They are both very old forms of prayer, and they have strengthened the Church and her faithful in times of most desperate need. You can also practice Lectio Divina or any other form of mental prayer. These forms of prayer are what many saints have identified as keys to sanctity.
Finally, it would be greatly beneficial to participate in the sacraments. If you can, try to make it to daily Mass and go to Confession as well. If you cannot make daily Mass, then make an Act of Spiritual Communion each of the three days (as many times per day as you want). Further, if you cannot go to Confession, pray a penitential prayer, such as a nightly examen, or the Prayer of Saint Ephrem each day.
Discipline
Finally, during this three-day period of heightened penance and prayer, we must maintain discipline. Discipline ought to be maintained in everyday life, so use this time to practice implementing healthy habits. Go to bed at a reasonable hour and wake up early with an alarm, develop a consistent workout routine, and make a schedule of your day so that you can fill your time with work, prayer, and leisure. For your recovery, make sure to attend your regular meetings, meet with your sponsor, and work the specific Step you’re focused on.
However, all penance, prayer, and discipline in the world will get you nowhere if you do not truly know and love God. We should not be doing these things to “check off boxes,” but so that we can approach the Almighty God with humility, obedience, and love. Offer every penance as a sacrificial gift to your Beloved and make every prayer a tender conversation with the One who loves you. These three days will be difficult, but nothing is impossible for He who made the heavens and the earth. And as a result, with God’s grace, you can be strengthened in your commitment to God and your recovery.
“So humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that he may exalt you in due time. Cast all your worries upon him because he cares for you. Be sober and vigilant. Your opponent the devil is prowling around like a roaring lion looking for [someone] to devour. Resist him, steadfast in faith, knowing that your fellow believers throughout the world undergo the same sufferings. The God of all grace who called you to his eternal glory through Christ [Jesus] will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you after you have suffered a little” (1 Peter: 6-10).
Philip H. is a recovering porn addict, and he runs a Catholic men’s accountability group for overcoming habitual sin and addiction at his university. He has a strong devotion to Mary and Saint Joseph.