The following is an excerpt from The Recovery Rosary, a book offering 20 personalized meditations (one for each mystery of the Rosary) covering a variety of addictions, such as alcoholism, drug addiction, lust-related addictions, compulsive/disordered eating behaviors, being a loved one of an addict, and more.
This scene of Jesus on the eve of his most painful death is likely familiar to those of us who have struggled with addictions, compulsions, or unhealthy attachments as a way to avoid pain. We too have likely begged God to spare us from suffering—often suffering resulting from the consequences of our poor decisions and unhealthy behaviors. As I enter into these Sorrowful Mysteries in Jesus’s life, I’m reminded to find new and healthier ways to pass through such painful moments. I ask myself, What is Jesus experiencing in the garden, and what does he do? How does he manage his own terrible suffering?
He immediately asks his friends to stay with him and watch with him as he nears the upcoming storm of his crucifixion. It’s a good reminder of our need for fellowship. Then in their presence, Jesus begins to let go and feel that grief and distress. The Revised Standard Version of the Bible reads that “he threw himself onto the ground”! Surely, this will remind us of our own breaking point that brought us to the realization that we could no longer go on as usual, avoiding pain and difficulties by using food, alcohol, or other unhealthy substances and behaviors to distract ourselves from reality. Oh, how well I remember such a breaking point in my own life! For a few moments the possibility of taking my own life to end my pain crossed my mind. Thank God that his love and sanity took firm hold of me. Prayer became possible for me, and God—a “Power greater than myself”—could help. I surrendered to a loving God through a power beyond my own capacity.
As we reflect on Jesus’s Agony in the Garden, we see the solution to dealing with any and all suffering. In his “deep distress,” Jesus turns to his loving Father and honestly asks for what he wants, which is to not drink from this cup. But more deeply still, he then surrenders to his loving Father’s will. He knows that God the Father is our Father, too, and that he will balance Jesus’s request with our need for salvation. But that’s not the end of it. Three times Jesus comes to his friends for support, only to find them asleep. Was he disappointed, hurt by their failure to stay awake and seeming indifference to his pain? In his selfless love, he focuses on Peter’s needs instead of his own, telling him to pray that he does not come to his own trial. Jesus’s instruction is an example for all of us to pray for God’s help no matter what painful event we’re experiencing and to accept that we don’t suffer alone. And this reminder about how to respond to the reality of our brokenness keeps us reaching a hand out for Jesus who has walked the path of suffering before us. I’m so grateful that my weakness never puts him off. I never found him asleep when I have the willingness to ask for his help and presence!
Read the entire meditation from Sister Margaret as well as 19 other meditations on each mystery of the Rosary by purchasing The Recovery Rosary and strengthen your spiritual life as a Catholic working the Twelve Steps of recovery or accompanying a loved one who is. For use by individuals or in small groups, this book can deepen your relationships with Jesus and Mary, helping you to draw strength from the Catholic tradition and 12-step recovery wisdom.
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