In this episode of the Catholic in Recovery podcast, Scott Weeman and Father Sean Kilcawley addresses listener questions, first focusing on a seminarian's struggle to balance a busy formation schedule with the time commitment of 12-step recovery, followed by a definition of the term "dry drunk" as being abstinent but not yet fully converted in heart. They affirm the importance of prioritizing recovery as the foundation for life, and discuss sponsors' primary qualifications being sobriety and the ability to work the program.

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I. Introduction

• Welcome and Credits: Scott Weeman and Father Sean Kilcawley welcome listeners; Scott offers a shout-out to Ivy Jacob/Bassanova and Aisling Fuller for the music.
• Call for Contribution: Invitation to listeners to contribute to Catholic in Recovery, mentioning a $10,000 matching grant available during the Lenten season.
• Topic Teaser: The hosts announce they will be discussing listener questions, including how to balance recovery during a busy season or life.
• Opening Question: Scott asks Father Sean, "What is really going on?"

II. Personal Check-ins and Recent Events

• Father Sean Kilcawley's Update:
  • Shares he is feeling "raw" and experiencing "compassion fatigue" after a busy break, which included two long days of human formation with Dominican and Holy Cross novices in Denver.
  • Emphasizes the need to remember "Jesus is Lord," surrender to him, and build a support system.
• Scott Weeman's Update:
  • Discusses his life as a "balancing act," aiming to be the "thermostat and not the thermometer," and learning to be "comfortable being comfortable."
  • Mentions a two-week trip to San Diego, where he spoke at the LA Religious Education Congress and attended Catholic in Recovery meetings.
  • Discusses a trip to Washington, DC, to be a guest on EWTN Pro Life Weekly, speaking about the relationship between addiction, recovery, and the pro-life movement.
  • Shares the ongoing family question of how long they will remain in Nashville, balancing his wife's desire to return to Southern California.
  • Gives a disclaimer that all listener emails sent to [email protected] will now be received following an email host change.

III. Discussion: Balancing Recovery in a Busy Life

• Topic Introduction: Scott reads an email from an anonymous seminarian in a 12-step fellowship who is struggling to balance a heavy formation schedule (15+ hours) with the necessary time commitment for recovery, feeling he has to "put his recovery on pause" during the semester.
• The Priority of Conversion (Fr. Sean):
  • Affirms that early recovery can be time-consuming (~12 hours/week) and that a man's conversion and sobriety must be the first priority, even if it means accepting less than a perfect grade, because all formation "lands on rocky soil" otherwise.
  • Encourages integrating recovery into spiritual life, suggesting the seminarian "do your step work during your holy hour," to grow in radical honesty with the Lord.
  • Describes a culture in his own seminary where many men work a program together, doing daily check-ins and gathering for Zoom meetings.
• Practical Advice & The Plate of Recovery (Scott & Fr. Sean):
  • Scott broadens the advice to apply to anyone with a busy life (work, school, family).
  • Father Sean advises learning to "take a B" and replacing time-wasting behaviors (like scrolling on social media) with 5-minute check-in calls.
  • The hosts discuss how the perfectionism common to addicts leads to procrastination in communication.
  • Scott explains "living one day at a time" as trying not to solve "tomorrow's problems today" and states that recovery must be "the plate upon which everything else in your life rests," as things put before it will be lost.

IV. Discussion: "Dry Drunk," Sponsorship, and Conclusion

• Topic: The "Dry Drunk"
  • Father Sean defines a "dry drunk" as being continent but not virtuous—abstinent from the addictive behavior but still moody, resentful, or unintegrated in heart; a person who feels "in prison" despite being sober.
  • Scott notes that removal of the addictive behavior is merely the "consolation prize," while the true goal is the "spiritual awakening" that brings purpose and peace.
  • Scott reads a passage from the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous that describes the resulting state of "neutrality" and a "daily reprieve contingent on the maintenance of our spiritual condition."
• Topic: Choosing a Sponsor
  • Scott reads a question from a listener worried about a new sponsor who has not been to Mass for a year due to a traumatic parish event.
  • Father Sean advises that the sponsor's primary qualification is being good at working their 12-step program and helping the sponsee get sober, emphasizing that they are a 12-step sponsor, not a confirmation sponsor.