In this episode of the Catholic in Recovery Podcast, Scott Weeman and Father Sean Kilcawley discuss how to stay spiritually grounded, emotionally stable, and sober through seasons of change and recovery. They share personal experiences with significant life transitions, such as moving and new jobs, and explore how these changes can impact one's recovery journey. The episode also touches on the importance of maintaining spiritual disciplines, seeking support, and adapting routines to navigate change successfully.

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I. Introduction

• Welcome and Apologies: Scott and Father Sean greet listeners, explaining the recent delay in new episodes due to their travels.
• Topic Introduction: They introduce the episode's theme: navigating seasons of change (e.g., new jobs, moves, marriage, parenthood, routine shifts) in recovery and how these changes impact sobriety.
• Music Credits: A shout-out is given to I.B. Jacob (Bassanova) and Aislinn Fuller for the intro and outro music.

II. Personal Updates and Experiences with Change

• Father Sean Kilcawley's Move: Father Sean shares his recent move to Menlo Park, California, a month prior. He discusses the challenges of settling in, finding a new recovery meeting away from seminarians, and the importance of making a spiritual retreat in the new location to "bank experiences of God." He references the scripture where Jesus tells Mary Magdalene to meet his brothers in Galilee, drawing a parallel to encountering Jesus in a new place.
• Father Sean's Health Challenge: He also reflects on a past experience with sickness and foot surgery, highlighting how physical pain and vulnerability necessitate more resources and support in recovery, rather than less. He likens it to Mother Teresa's advice: "We're so busy, we don't have time to make a holy hour. You're right. We need to make two."
• Scott Weeman's Updates: Scott shares his enjoyment of cooler weather in Nashville and recent travels to Wisconsin (family time) and Catholic Familyland in Eastern Ohio. He describes the positive community and routine at Catholic Familyland, despite some physical challenges (a rotator cuff injury). He also opens up about his wife's homesickness since their move to Nashville 15 months ago, acknowledging his tendency to take it personally and the importance of seeking support (meetings, sponsor) during such times.

III. Adapting to Changes in Recovery

• Challenges of Change: The hosts emphasize that while change affects everyone, its consequences can be severe for those in recovery, potentially disrupting healthy patterns (eating, praying, meetings), increasing stress, and reawakening old coping mechanisms. Scott shares his experience moving to Nashville, feeling unknown in new meetings and facing "imposter syndrome."
• The Concept of "Home" and Homesickness: Father Sean reflects on his own healing regarding his Michigan home and how "homesickness for home groups" is a real phenomenon in recovery. He questions if the desire to be "known" by a new group is a way to avoid the homesickness for the old one. Scott adds to this, discussing his past avoidance of his physical home due to family dynamics and the importance of a stable home. They note that modern technology (Zoom meetings, phone calls) can help maintain connections to old support systems.
• Spiritual Tools for Navigating Change:
  • Planning Ahead: For predictable changes like moves, research new meetings, churches, and therapists. Be prepared for routine shifts (e.g., meeting times).
  • Maintaining Daily Disciplines: Continue prayer, meetings, step work, and sponsor connections, especially during job or career changes. Retreats can help invite Jesus into new roles.
  • Sponsorship: Scott's sponsor encouraged him to find a new local sponsor while maintaining their long-distance relationship, emphasizing the importance of face-to-face connection.
  • Relationship Changes: For marriage or parenthood, recognize shifting identities and responsibilities. Scott's sponsor advised him that he would go from being "number one in your life to being number three." Prioritizing sobriety is crucial to avoid being a "liability."
  • Spiritual Consistency: Avoid giving oneself a "pass" during busy times. Complacency from success can also lead to relapse.
  • Grieving and Letting Go: Change involves grieving (old job, health, home). Addiction often involves an inability to grieve. Intentional grieving, as Father Sean did on his retreat, is important to let go of the past and embrace the new.
  • Daily Inventory and Slogans: Regular self-reflection helps identify emotional shifts, pride, fear, and unwillingness. Slogans like "Easy does it," "This too shall pass," and "Let go and let God" can be helpful. Jesus is the unchanging constant, and the Blessed Mother is a model of trust in unexpected change.
  • Growth and Growing Pains: Struggle during change indicates growth, not failure. Embrace the challenge with open-mindedness, leaning on community and trusting God.

IV. Mailbag Question from Pete: Clarification on Catholic in Recovery (CIR) and other 12-Step Groups

• Pete's Affirmations: Pete praises CIR, affirming recovery as conversion, evangelization, the 12 steps as systematic, and sponsorship as a template for sacramental sponsorship.
• Pete's Core Question: He seeks clarification on whether Catholics should or are allowed to engage in 12-step recovery outside of CIR, or if it's acceptable to do recovery primarily/solely within CIR. He also asks for an explanation of the "Catholic bubble."
• Scott's Response: Scott strongly recommends participating in other 12-step programs specific to one's addiction (AA, NA, OA, SA, etc.).
  • Reasons:
    • Find solutions from people regardless of religious affiliation.
    • CIR is not a replacement for other 12-step groups.
    • It's vital for Catholics to have a presence in secular 12-step groups as a form of evangelization and to share Christ's light.
    • Gain wisdom and support from diverse groups.
  • He acknowledges some have found sobriety solely in CIR but encourages broader participation, emphasizing "giving by getting, getting by giving," and avoiding a "Catholic bubble."
• Father Sean's Clarification on "Catholic Bubble":
  • He highlights the opportunity to reconnect with former Catholics in secular 12-step circles and show them the Church cares.
  • He warns against being "overly concerned with doing the Catholic things" to the detriment of getting sober.
  • He expresses a sociological interest in data on those sober purely through CIR (addiction type, severity).
  • He believes there's "too much fear" around traditional 12-step groups and the danger of "enclosed circles" and "spiritual pride" (thinking one is special).
  • He advises clergy/religious to attend "normal" meetings to realize they are not special.
  • He stresses meeting people where they are and providing a space within the Church for people to air grievances and be heard, encouraging them to "keep coming back."

V. Conclusion

• Final Encouragement: The hosts encourage listeners to reinforce their support systems during times of change, viewing change as an opportunity for spiritual growth and newness.
• Call to Surrender: They invite listeners to surrender and grow through challenges to experience God's promises of joy, happiness, peace, and security.
• Prayer: Father Sean leads a closing prayer, asking for blessings on listeners, especially those in transition, and for God to reveal Himself in new ways.