In this episode of the Catholic in Recovery podcast, Fr. Sean Kilcawley and Scott Weeman delve into the impact of addiction on families, sharing personal insights and discussing the various ways addiction can manifest within a family. They also explore the different roles family members often assume, such as the "hero" or "scapegoat," and how these roles can perpetuate dysfunction.

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Introduction and Check-in

• Hosts Scott Weeman and Fr. Sean Kilcawley introduce themselves and the podcast's mission.
• They outline the topics for the episode: the family experience with addiction, available support, principles of family addiction recovery, and the different ways various addictions impact families.
• The hosts then check in with each other, sharing personal experiences and current events in their lives.
  • Fr. Sean discusses returning from vacation, dealing with a parishioner's death, and preparing for a parish event.
  • Scott talks about the positive feedback from their last episode on grief, a Catholic in Recovery board meeting, his therapy work, and the new "Living the Steps" series.

The Family Spiritual Disease of Addiction

• The hosts delve into the concept of addiction as a "family spiritual disease."
• They explain that addiction impacts the entire family, not just the individual struggling with it.
• They discuss the various roles that family members often take on in response to addiction, such as the "hero," the "scapegoat," and the "lost child."
• They explain that these roles can be both a result and a cause of addiction and how they can perpetuate unhealthy family dynamics.
• They emphasize the importance of family members seeking their own support and recovery through groups like Al-Anon and ACOA.
• The hosts touch on the concept of "detaching with love" and allowing individuals to experience the natural consequences of their actions.
• They discuss how family members often try to rescue the addict, thus enabling the addictive behavior.
• They emphasize that the family's "insanity" can be as obvious to outsiders as the addict's.
• The hosts explore the idea of unspoken family rules in families with addiction.
• They bring up codependency and how it can manifest in relationships, work life, and even within church communities.

Specific Addiction Types and Betrayal Trauma

• The hosts acknowledge that different addictions can have different effects on families.
• They specifically address the "betrayal trauma" associated with sexual addiction and the deep emotional impact it can have on spouses.
• They mention resources like Kevin Skinner's work and the Bloom for Women website for those dealing with betrayal trauma.
• They note that both men and women can experience betrayal trauma.

Mailbag Question and Conclusion

• The hosts answer a question from a listener about navigating recovery for multiple addictions.
• They discuss whether it's better to work the 12 steps in one fellowship or seek out additional support from other fellowships.
• They share their thoughts on transferring addictions and the importance of addressing all addictive behaviors.
• They encourage listeners to subscribe to the podcast, leave reviews, and share it with others.
• Fr. Sean closes the episode with a blessing.