Loved One of an Addict
Is your loved one or family member suffering from an addiction? Do you feel that you’ve done everything you can to help your addicted loved one but have not been successful? Does it feel like your life is becoming more and more consumed by thinking about and/or responding to your loved one’s addictive behaviors?
The family disease of addiction affects countless people around the world from all walks of life and all faith backgrounds. When a loved one is struggling with an addiction, compulsion, or unhealthy attachment, it can feel that nothing will bring the healing and freedom you desperately desire.
You are not alone.
CIR can help you gain freedom and peace. Recovery for a loved one or family member of an addict is not about trying to “heal” or “fix” your loved one’s addiction, something that, ultimately, depends on your loved one and God. Rather, it’s about learning to let go of trying to control your loved one while maintaining a healthy love for him or her. Despite a desire to begin recovery, there are many barriers to change that can make this journey a challenge. Denial, shame, fear, resentment, self-pity, selfishness, and pride are some of the potential obstacles that can keep us isolated within ourselves and unwilling to take the steps to receive God’s healing.
CIR’s Three Rings of Healing: Fellowship, Freedom, & Faith
Recovery isn’t only about accepting your loved one’s addiction but, rather, is about living with the freedom and joy that God desires for His beloved children. The solution CIR offers integrates three rings: fellowship, freedom, and faith. While these rings are separate and distinct from each other, they overlap to provide a holistic solution. Each one is necessary, and together they support your healing and freedom.
Fellowship: We don’t find healing alone—we do so in a community of fellow travelers. Just as we are connected as members of the body of Christ, so too are we connected in our healing journey from addiction.
Freedom: We find freedom, first and foremost, by grounding our trust in God and His grace. However, this entails doing our part to be receptive to that grace, which is where the wisdom of the Twelve Steps of recovery are key.
Faith: Through CIR retreats, spiritually-enriching books, faith-related resources, and connecting with a vibrant community of fellows committed to Christ, we strengthen our relationship with God. The principles of 12-step recovery are integrated with the wisdom of Catholic tradition to enable healing, freedom, and joy.
The solution we are proposing is not a new one—it’s one many have followed to find true healing. It relies on the wisdom of 12-step recovery and the grace-led tradition of the Catholic Church.
Admitting We Have a Problem
For any healing to begin, we must admit we have a problem. You are the only person who can identify yourself as someone struggling to live with a loved one or family member who is an addict.
Perhaps you have heard feedback from others who share their concerns about how your loved one’s addictive behaviors are affecting you negatively, which can often be hard to receive while caught in the downward cycle of trying to control your loved one’s healing. Perhaps you feel solely responsible for helping your loved one find freedom and guilty that you haven’t been able to do so. Perhaps your life increasingly revolves around your loved one’s behaviors, moods, and consequences due to his or her addiction. In moments of clarity, however, we might take an objective look at our life and see that there is a better way.
Take the below assessment to determine whether you can benefit from recovery as a loved one or family member of an addict.