{"id":52075,"date":"2024-08-28T05:00:24","date_gmt":"2024-08-28T10:00:24","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/catholicinrecovery.com\/?p=52075"},"modified":"2024-08-28T17:09:54","modified_gmt":"2024-08-28T22:09:54","slug":"pride-addiction-and-saint-benedicts-twelve-steps-of-humility-a-working-theology-of-recovery-part-5","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/catholicinrecovery.com\/pride-addiction-and-saint-benedicts-twelve-steps-of-humility-a-working-theology-of-recovery-part-5\/","title":{"rendered":"Pride, Addiction, & Saint Benedict\u2019s Twelve Steps of Humility: A Working Theology of Recovery (Part 5)"},"content":{"rendered":"

[et_pb_section admin_label=”section”]
\n\t\t\t[et_pb_row admin_label=”row”]
\n\t\t\t\t[et_pb_column type=”4_4″][et_pb_text admin_label=”Text”]Read Part 1<\/a>, Part 2<\/a>, Part 3<\/a>, or Part 4<\/a> of this series on addiction and Saint Benedict\u2019s Twelve Steps of Humility.<\/p>\n

The fruit of the fear of God, self-denial, obedience, perseverance, and repentance is the gift of serenity<\/em>, where we truly begin to live in detachment from ourselves and the things of this world. Saint Benedict says, \u201cThe sixth step of humility is that a monk is content with the lowest and most menial treatment, and regards himself as a poor and worthless workman in whatever task he is given\u201d (Rule<\/em>).<\/p>\n

In other words, we no longer seek to manipulate or \u201cmanage\u201d the circumstances or people around us for self-pleasure, self-promotion, or self-protection. We simply accept what comes. We let go and let God. Serenity is a real sign of spiritual growth in recovery because it represents bona fide trust in God\u2019s will and divine providence. It is the real beginning of freedom from our pride and addictions that have so mercilessly deprived us of joy and peace.<\/p>\n

Serenity is deepened with Saint Benedict\u2019s seventh degree of humility, self-abasement, which is the relinquishment of self-importance and self-obsession. Self-abasement is the antidote to narcissism. It is what AA refers to as Rule 62: \u201cDon\u2019t take yourself too seriously.\u201d It is the wise recognition that spiritual wellness comes by \u201cstaying in the herd\u201d and always falls back on the cornerstone of obedience knowing that we are invariably our own worst enemies when left to our own devices.<\/p>\n

\u201cThe seventh step of humility is that a man not only admits with his tongue but is also convinced with his heart that he is inferior to all and of less value, humbling himself\u201d (Rule<\/em>). This corresponds to what Our Lord teaches about self-abasement in the parable of the wedding guest: \u201cWhen you have been invited by someone to attend a wedding banquet, do not sit down in the place of honor in case someone who is more distinguished than you may have been invited, and then the host who invited both of you may approach you and say, \u2018Give this man your place.\u2019 Then you will be embarrassed as you proceed to sit in the lowest place. Rather, when you are invited, proceed to sit in the lowest place, so that when your host arrives, he will say to you, \u2018My friend, move up to a higher place.\u2019 Then you will be honored in the presence of all your fellow guests. For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, and the one who humbles himself will be exalted\u201d (Luke 14:8-11).<\/p>\n

Along with serenity, self-abasement really opens wide the door of our soul, allowing Christ\u2019s grace to enter in. By getting out of our own way, by letting go and letting God in these two forms of humility, we paradoxically gain through Jesus the power to overcome pride and compulsion and receive the peace that was previously so bafflingly beyond our grasp. Serenity and self-abasement are indicators that our purification in Christ is abundantly underway. We become more like Mary, the sister of Martha, who realized that \u201conly one thing is necessary,\u201d to sit at the feet of Our Lord and listen (Luke 10:42)! In other words, I am just not that important. Serenity and self-abasement are what we proclaim at every Catholic in Recovery meeting when we pray together the full Serenity Prayer.<\/p>\n

Prudence <\/em>is the eighth rung on the ladder of humility and, in terms of the spiritual battle against addiction, is what we could understand as the correct formation of conscience in the teachings of the Church and the principles of recovery. When we acted out in the selfish concupiscence of our pride and addictions, we literally embodied imprudence par excellence, ultimately not caring about the harmful consequences to self or others even when we knew our actions were wrong, dangerous, and potentially deadly.<\/p>\n

Saint Benedict touches very briefly on this step when he writes, \u201ca monk does only what is endorsed by the common rule of the monastery and the example set by his superiors\u201d (Rule<\/em>). Translated into the language of recovery, this passage could read, \u201ca Catholic in recovery does only what is endorsed by the common rule of recovery fellowship, the Twelve Steps, the teachings of the Church, and the example set by the Saints and one\u2019s sponsor.\u201d Prudence means purposefully investing time and effort to study recovery literature, the Catechism, Scripture, spiritual writings, and the lives of the Saints, all of which forms our conscience so that we may learn how to temper and restrain the disordered urges of our will and live prudently. \u201cI will instruct you and guide you in the way you should go; I will counsel you and keep my eyes upon you. Do not behave without understanding like a horse or a mule; if its temper is not curbed with bit and bridle, it will not come near you\u201d (Psalm 39:8-9).<\/p>\n

The ninth degree of humility is silence<\/em>. Classically Benedictine, this stage of humility is one of the most important of all for a sustained and healthy recovery. As quoted with obedience earlier, the Rule <\/em>begins with the simple command, \u201cListen.\u201d If we think of our disordered ways of thinking and acting in the throes of addiction as a kind of \u201cspeech\u201d or \u201cnoise\u201d emanating from our pride, then it becomes all too clear why learning to be silent and to listen is so important if we are going to advance in humility and get well.<\/p>\n

I have come to the realization in my own recovery journey that my pride and addictions were in effect the noise pollution of a self-obsessed ego that overpowered the voice of God and the voices of my family, friends, and loved ones. It is vital that we understand that the essential demeanor of conversion in recovery is a listening and receptive one. This is how we \u201chear\u201d God in the providential events and people in our lives, in the pages of Scripture, in the wise counsel of sponsors, confessors, and spiritual directors, in the healing of the sacraments, in the love and care of our families, and in the adoration of God who speaks to our souls in silence. True serenity and freedom come when we immerse ourselves in our silence and our \u201cnothingness\u201d before God, a truly radical letting go and letting God in absolute trust. As Saint John of the Cross wrote, \u201cTo reach satisfaction in everything, desire satisfaction in nothing. To come to possession of everything, desire the possession of nothing. To arrive at being all, desire to be nothing. To come to the knowledge of everything, desire the knowledge of nothing\u201d (Ascent of Mount Carmel<\/em>).<\/p>\n

Silence is the necessary way of purgation that allows God to cleanse the soul of the distracting and dissipating ruckus of our habitual addictive sins. Silence is the medium in which the masks of our pride are stripped away so that love may enter into our hearts, enabling us to authentically love God and one another in return. Drawing again from Saint John of the Cross, he says of silence, \u201cOur greatest need is to be silent before this great God with the appetite and with the tongue, for the only language he hears is the silent language of love\u201d (Sayings of Light and Love<\/em>). In the broadest sense, then, the negation and silence of our will, our appetites, and our pride are what constitutes God\u2019s will for us. Silence is what our Step 11 in recovery should always be fundamentally about. We cannot truly turn our lives over to the care of God as we understand Him if we do not abandon the deafening cacophony of our prideful egos and accept His invitation to \u201cBe still and know that I am God\u201d (Psalm 46:11a).<\/p>\n

The tenth level of humility is dignity<\/em>, of which Saint Benedict only says that the monk \u201cis not given to ready laughter, for it is written: \u2018Only a fool raises his voice in laughter (Sirach 21:23)\u2019\u201d (Rule<\/em>). Various commentators refer to this step as meaning living in seriousness and avoiding frivolousness. What I think Saint Benedict meant was not to condemn humor per se, but rather to teach that \u201cready laughter\u201d can often represent a kind of carelessness or imprudence of thought and behavior in our relationships with others. It can also reveal a forgetfulness that we are always in the watchful presence of God, which should inspire our reverent devotion, or it can demonstrate a veiled conceit and subtle derision of others that serves only to prop up our vanity and pride. \u201cReady laughter,\u201d in other words, is just another manifestation of the noisy ego that effectively cuts off love.<\/p>\n

All of these negative qualities, of course, accurately describe our lives in active addiction. We most certainly were careless and imprudent in our delusional thinking and risky behaviors. We most certainly forgot God in our relentless gratification of the self in our flight from suffering. And our conceit was usually front and center as we were compulsively driven by self-pleasure, self-aggrandizement, and self-promotion at the expense of others. Our lives typified the \u201cready laughter\u201d that Saint Benedict warns against!<\/p>\n

In recovery fellowship, humor and laughter can be at the right moment a useful means of relating to someone and drawing them into the healing space such fellowship offers. But this requires prudence and discretion, for humor and laughter wrongly placed can wound another, choking off vulnerability and trust. Moreover, humor can be an important aspect of living in serenity and self-abasement, of not taking ourselves too seriously. Sr. Joan Chittister, OSB comments, \u201cWe learn to take ourselves more lightly in the presence of good humor. Humor gives us the strength to bear what cannot be changed and the sight to see the human under the pompous\u201d (The Rule of Benedict: A Spirituality for the 21st Century<\/em>).<\/p>\n

Dignity is what we embody as the result of serenity and self-abasement. Diane Schwind of The Three Hearts Institute adds this further insight about humor and laughter: \u201cSt. Benedict wants to help us realize that in living a Christian life we will have great joy. But real joy is found in the relationship with Him, not in vain laughter at the expense of others or in shameless subject matter that takes us completely away from the reality of God\u2019s presence\u201d (St. Benedict\u2019s Twelve Degrees of Humility: The Tenth Degree<\/em>, 2014, Catholicmom.com).<\/p>\n

Our inherent dignity as beloved children of God is magnified or diminished depending on whether we stay close to Jesus in selfless love or sink into ourselves in prideful self-love. Our dignity is always inextricably connected with God who made us in His image and likeness (cf. Genesis 1:27). We can choose to practice the presence of God in all our affairs or we can choose to practice the presence of self in the \u201cshameless subject matter\u201d of our addictions. Our fundamental dignity as human beings is entirely dependent on God, and thus staying close to God\u2019s presence (Step 11 in recovery) really matters! I think for Saint Benedict, frivolous laughter is undignified because it simply represents a moving away from the presence of God that will always be to our detriment. God, of course, never abandons us, but we most certainly will abandon Him if we do not remain steadfast in our quest to be humble, and that means, among other things, having a prudential sense of humor.<\/p>\n

This series will continue with Part 6.
\n<\/span>
\n <\/p>\n

\n<\/div>\n

Pete S. is a grateful Catholic in recovery. He lives in Augusta, GA and helped start a CIR General Recovery meeting at St. Teresa of Avila Parish in Grovetown. He actively sponsors several individuals in CIR. He is also a regular content contributor for the CIR Daily Reflections. And as a result of his recovery journey in CIR, he discerned a calling to the Benedictine spiritual way of life and on September 30, 2023, was invested as an Oblate novice of the Order of Saint Benedict affiliated with St. Vincent Archabbey in Latrobe, PA.<\/em>[\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column]
\n\t\t\t[\/et_pb_row]
\n\t\t[\/et_pb_section]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Read Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, or Part 4 of this series on addiction and Saint Benedict\u2019s Twelve Steps of Humility. The fruit of the fear of God, self-denial, obedience, perseverance, and repentance is the gift of serenity, where we truly begin to live in detachment from ourselves and the things of this world. […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":435,"featured_media":52095,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"on","_et_pb_old_content":"Read Part 1<\/a>, Part 2<\/a>, Part 3<\/a>, or Part 4<\/a> of this series on addiction and Saint Benedict\u2019s Twelve Steps of Humility.\r\n\r\nThe fruit of the fear of God, self-denial, obedience, perseverance, and repentance is the gift of serenity<\/em>, where we truly begin to live in detachment from ourselves and the things of this world. Saint Benedict says, \u201cThe sixth step of humility is that a monk is content with the lowest and most menial treatment, and regards himself as a poor and worthless workman in whatever task he is given\u201d (Rule<\/em>).\r\n\r\nIn other words, we no longer seek to manipulate or \u201cmanage\u201d the circumstances or people around us for self-pleasure, self-promotion, or self-protection. We simply accept what comes. We let go and let God. Serenity is a real sign of spiritual growth in recovery because it represents bona fide trust in God\u2019s will and divine providence. It is the real beginning of freedom from our pride and addictions that have so mercilessly deprived us of joy and peace.\r\n\r\nSerenity is deepened with Saint Benedict\u2019s seventh degree of humility, self-abasement, which is the relinquishment of self-importance and self-obsession. Self-abasement is the antidote to narcissism. It is what AA refers to as Rule 62: \u201cDon\u2019t take yourself too seriously.\u201d It is the wise recognition that spiritual wellness comes by \u201cstaying in the herd\u201d and always falls back on the cornerstone of obedience knowing that we are invariably our own worst enemies when left to our own devices.\r\n\r\n\u201cThe seventh step of humility is that a man not only admits with his tongue but is also convinced with his heart that he is inferior to all and of less value, humbling himself\u201d (Rule<\/em>). This corresponds to what Our Lord teaches about self-abasement in the parable of the wedding guest: \u201cWhen you have been invited by someone to attend a wedding banquet, do not sit down in the place of honor in case someone who is more distinguished than you may have been invited, and then the host who invited both of you may approach you and say, \u2018Give this man your place.\u2019 Then you will be embarrassed as you proceed to sit in the lowest place. Rather, when you are invited, proceed to sit in the lowest place, so that when your host arrives, he will say to you, \u2018My friend, move up to a higher place.\u2019 Then you will be honored in the presence of all your fellow guests. For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, and the one who humbles himself will be exalted\u201d (Luke 14:8-11).\r\n\r\nAlong with serenity, self-abasement really opens wide the door of our soul, allowing Christ\u2019s grace to enter in. By getting out of our own way, by letting go and letting God in these two forms of humility, we paradoxically gain through Jesus the power to overcome pride and compulsion and receive the peace that was previously so bafflingly beyond our grasp. Serenity and self-abasement are indicators that our purification in Christ is abundantly underway. We become more like Mary, the sister of Martha, who realized that \u201conly one thing is necessary,\u201d to sit at the feet of Our Lord and listen (Luke 10:42)! In other words, I am just not that important. Serenity and self-abasement are what we proclaim at every Catholic in Recovery meeting when we pray together the full Serenity Prayer.\r\n\r\nPrudence <\/em>is the eighth rung on the ladder of humility and, in terms of the spiritual battle against addiction, is what we could understand as the correct formation of conscience in the teachings of the Church and the principles of recovery. When we acted out in the selfish concupiscence of our pride and addictions, we literally embodied imprudence par excellence, ultimately not caring about the harmful consequences to self or others even when we knew our actions were wrong, dangerous, and potentially deadly.\r\n\r\nSaint Benedict touches very briefly on this step when he writes, \u201ca monk does only what is endorsed by the common rule of the monastery and the example set by his superiors\u201d (Rule<\/em>). Translated into the language of recovery, this passage could read, \u201ca Catholic in recovery does only what is endorsed by the common rule of recovery fellowship, the Twelve Steps, the teachings of the Church, and the example set by the Saints and one\u2019s sponsor.\u201d Prudence means purposefully investing time and effort to study recovery literature, the Catechism, Scripture, spiritual writings, and the lives of the Saints, all of which forms our conscience so that we may learn how to temper and restrain the disordered urges of our will and live prudently. \u201cI will instruct you and guide you in the way you should go; I will counsel you and keep my eyes upon you. Do not behave without understanding like a horse or a mule; if its temper is not curbed with bit and bridle, it will not come near you\u201d (Psalm 39:8-9).\r\n\r\nThe ninth degree of humility is silence<\/em>. Classically Benedictine, this stage of humility is one of the most important of all for a sustained and healthy recovery. As quoted with obedience earlier, the Rule <\/em>begins with the simple command, \u201cListen.\u201d If we think of our disordered ways of thinking and acting in the throes of addiction as a kind of \u201cspeech\u201d or \u201cnoise\u201d emanating from our pride, then it becomes all too clear why learning to be silent and to listen is so important if we are going to advance in humility and get well.\r\n\r\nI have come to the realization in my own recovery journey that my pride and addictions were in effect the noise pollution of a self-obsessed ego that overpowered the voice of God and the voices of my family, friends, and loved ones. It is vital that we understand that the essential demeanor of conversion in recovery is a listening and receptive one. This is how we \u201chear\u201d God in the providential events and people in our lives, in the pages of Scripture, in the wise counsel of sponsors, confessors, and spiritual directors, in the healing of the sacraments, in the love and care of our families, and in the adoration of God who speaks to our souls in silence. True serenity and freedom come when we immerse ourselves in our silence and our \u201cnothingness\u201d before God, a truly radical letting go and letting God in absolute trust. As Saint John of the Cross wrote, \u201cTo reach satisfaction in everything, desire satisfaction in nothing. To come to possession of everything, desire the possession of nothing. To arrive at being all, desire to be nothing. To come to the knowledge of everything, desire the knowledge of nothing\u201d (Ascent of Mount Carmel<\/em>).\r\n\r\nSilence is the necessary way of purgation that allows God to cleanse the soul of the distracting and dissipating ruckus of our habitual addictive sins. Silence is the medium in which the masks of our pride are stripped away so that love may enter into our hearts, enabling us to authentically love God and one another in return. Drawing again from Saint John of the Cross, he says of silence, \u201cOur greatest need is to be silent before this great God with the appetite and with the tongue, for the only language he hears is the silent language of love\u201d (Sayings of Light and Love<\/em>). In the broadest sense, then, the negation and silence of our will, our appetites, and our pride are what constitutes God\u2019s will for us. Silence is what our Step 11 in recovery should always be fundamentally about. We cannot truly turn our lives over to the care of God as we understand Him if we do not abandon the deafening cacophony of our prideful egos and accept His invitation to \u201cBe still and know that I am God\u201d (Psalm 46:11a).\r\n\r\nThe tenth level of humility is dignity<\/em>, of which Saint Benedict only says that the monk \u201cis not given to ready laughter, for it is written: \u2018Only a fool raises his voice in laughter (Sirach 21:23)\u2019\u201d (Rule<\/em>). Various commentators refer to this step as meaning living in seriousness and avoiding frivolousness. What I think Saint Benedict meant was not to condemn humor per se, but rather to teach that \u201cready laughter\u201d can often represent a kind of carelessness or imprudence of thought and behavior in our relationships with others. It can also reveal a forgetfulness that we are always in the watchful presence of God, which should inspire our reverent devotion, or it can demonstrate a veiled conceit and subtle derision of others that serves only to prop up our vanity and pride. \u201cReady laughter,\u201d in other words, is just another manifestation of the noisy ego that effectively cuts off love.\r\n\r\nAll of these negative qualities, of course, accurately describe our lives in active addiction. We most certainly were careless and imprudent in our delusional thinking and risky behaviors. We most certainly forgot God in our relentless gratification of the self in our flight from suffering. And our conceit was usually front and center as we were compulsively driven by self-pleasure, self-aggrandizement, and self-promotion at the expense of others. Our lives typified the \u201cready laughter\u201d that Saint Benedict warns against!\r\n\r\nIn recovery fellowship, humor and laughter can be at the right moment a useful means of relating to someone and drawing them into the healing space such fellowship offers. But this requires prudence and discretion, for humor and laughter wrongly placed can wound another, choking off vulnerability and trust. Moreover, humor can be an important aspect of living in serenity and self-abasement, of not taking ourselves too seriously. Sr. Joan Chittister, OSB comments, \u201cWe learn to take ourselves more lightly in the presence of good humor. Humor gives us the strength to bear what cannot be changed and the sight to see the human under the pompous\u201d (The Rule of Benedict: A Spirituality for the 21st Century<\/em>).\r\n\r\nDignity is what we embody as the result of serenity and self-abasement. Diane Schwind of The Three Hearts Institute adds this further insight about humor and laughter: \u201cSt. Benedict wants to help us realize that in living a Christian life we will have great joy. But real joy is found in the relationship with Him, not in vain laughter at the expense of others or in shameless subject matter that takes us completely away from the reality of God\u2019s presence\u201d (St. Benedict\u2019s Twelve Degrees of Humility: The Tenth Degree<\/em>, 2014, Catholicmom.com).\r\n\r\nOur inherent dignity as beloved children of God is magnified or diminished depending on whether we stay close to Jesus in selfless love or sink into ourselves in prideful self-love. Our dignity is always inextricably connected with God who made us in His image and likeness (cf. Genesis 1:27). We can choose to practice the presence of God in all our affairs or we can choose to practice the presence of self in the \u201cshameless subject matter\u201d of our addictions. Our fundamental dignity as human beings is entirely dependent on God, and thus staying close to God\u2019s presence (Step 11 in recovery) really matters! I think for Saint Benedict, frivolous laughter is undignified because it simply represents a moving away from the presence of God that will always be to our detriment. God, of course, never abandons us, but we most certainly will abandon Him if we do not remain steadfast in our quest to be humble, and that means, among other things, having a prudential sense of humor.\r\n\r\nThis series will continue with Part 6.\r\n<\/span>
\r\n 
\r\n\r\n

\r\n\r\n<\/div>\r\nPete S. is a grateful Catholic in recovery. He lives in Augusta, GA and helped start a CIR General Recovery meeting at St. Teresa of Avila Parish in Grovetown. He actively sponsors several individuals in CIR. He is also a regular content contributor for the CIR Daily Reflections. And as a result of his recovery journey in CIR, he discerned a calling to the Benedictine spiritual way of life and on September 30, 2023, was invested as an Oblate novice of the Order of Saint Benedict affiliated with St. Vincent Archabbey in Latrobe, PA.<\/em>","_et_gb_content_width":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[65,3,136,28,20],"tags":[],"table_tags":[],"class_list":["post-52075","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-addiction","category-general","category-help-from-the-saints","category-saints-on-earth-and-in-heaven","category-spiritual-tools"],"yoast_head":"\nPride, Addiction, & Saint Benedict\u2019s Twelve Steps of Humility: A Working Theology of Recovery (Part 5) - Catholic in Recovery<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/catholicinrecovery.com\/pride-addiction-and-saint-benedicts-twelve-steps-of-humility-a-working-theology-of-recovery-part-5\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Pride, Addiction, & Saint Benedict\u2019s Twelve Steps of Humility: A Working Theology of Recovery (Part 5) - Catholic in Recovery\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Read Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, or Part 4 of this series on addiction and Saint Benedict\u2019s Twelve Steps of Humility. The fruit of the fear of God, self-denial, obedience, perseverance, and repentance is the gift of serenity, where we truly begin to live in detachment from ourselves and the things of this world. 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