{"id":36283,"date":"2020-12-08T05:00:15","date_gmt":"2020-12-08T11:00:15","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/catholicinrecovery.com\/?p=36283"},"modified":"2025-02-19T11:03:05","modified_gmt":"2025-02-19T17:03:05","slug":"ways-to-avoid-playing-the-victim-and-blaming-others","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/catholicinrecovery.com\/ways-to-avoid-playing-the-victim-and-blaming-others\/","title":{"rendered":"Ways to Avoid Playing the Victim &#038; Blaming Others"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">We all do it. The blame game. We tend to blame others for our faults. We start when we are quite young, blaming a sibling or even the dog for the broken lamp. This is so common that almost everyone can recall either blaming someone else or being the one getting blamed when we were growing up.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Have we left the blame game behind or have we carried it with us into adulthood? Are we using it to \u201cexplain\u201d our addiction? Do we play the victim to avoid responsibility, even now? Are we blaming an abusive childhood or a bad relationship for our addictive behavior? Have we become addicted to playing the victim?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Let\u2019s look at some warning signs that you\u2019ve become addicted to playing the victim and blaming others:\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Do you hear yourself say or think, <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">He made me do it<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> or <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">She drove me to drugs?<\/span><\/i><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Do you find yourself excusing addictive behavior because you have to deal with difficult people? <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I need this so I can handle being around her today. It\u2019s all her fault!<\/span><\/i><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Do you frequently change jobs, blaming coworkers for your problems?<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Do you see recurring themes in your life, such as starting and ending unhealthy, or perceived unhealthy, relationships?<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">These are just a few signs that you may be addicted to playing the victim and blaming others.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">So, what can you do about it?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Remember that no one can <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">make<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> you do, say, or feel anything. You are the one who has to make different choices to achieve different results.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If you tend to lose your sobriety when associating with certain people, then choose to associate with different people. If you can\u2019t avoid associating with them, find another way to comfort yourself without losing your sobriety. Do some deep breathing. Excuse yourself to go to the bathroom and meditate for a few minutes. Remind yourself that this too will pass, and you will be okay.<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><br \/>\n<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If you find yourself changing jobs or relationships because of <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">other people<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, take a step back and look at yourself. Is that coworker really causing your problems? Are you really not also at fault in some way with that relationship? Could treating those whom you are \u201cblaming\u201d with kindness diffuse the situation and ease tensions?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Remind yourself that you can change any situation by changing the way you think and speak about it. It may sound corny to some but thinking positive thoughts can change the way you behave. And remember, you can\u2019t change others. You can only change yourself.<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">And don\u2019t forget to <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/catholicinrecovery.com\/patrons-and-saints-to-pray-to-for-addiction-recovery\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">look to the saints<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> as examples of how you can change, grow in holiness, and not fall into the trap of playing the victim and blaming others. For instance, St. Rita of Cascia endured an abusive husband for many years. Instead of playing the victim, she grew in holiness. St. Elizabeth Ann Seton lost her beloved husband. When she converted to Catholicism, her family ostracized her. Yet from this adversity, she refused to play the victim and was able to do great work for God, founding a school and a religious order. You may not be called to found an order but we are all called to a life of holiness and dependence on God.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Additionally, if you haven\u2019t already, <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/catholicinrecovery.com\/meetings\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">join a Catholic in Recovery small group<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> to connect with fellow Catholics pursuing recovery. And don\u2019t underestimate the help of a professional counselor or spiritual director as well. Their support can be critical to helping you maintain your sobriety, let go of playing the victim and blaming others, and continue to create a better life, one day at a time.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You don\u2019t have to do it on your own. It is not a sign of weakness to ask for help. It is a sign that you recognize you are human, and that you are not perfect. We have all fallen short of the glory of God, but with His help, we can improve. As long as we are moving in the right direction and trusting in God, we can have hope for a brighter future.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Celeste is a wife, mother, and grandmother living in Louisiana\u2019s Cajun Country. She is a lifelong Catholic and committed to spreading the Gospel through small group formation programs. She is a recovering food addict (embracing the slogan, &#8220;If you can&#8217;t stop at one, have none!&#8221;), an avid knitter, and a lover of God.<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>We all do it. The blame game. We tend to blame others for our faults. We start when we are quite young, blaming a sibling or even the dog for the broken lamp. This is so common that almost everyone can recall either blaming someone else or being the one getting blamed when we were [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":435,"featured_media":36291,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[65,136,133,28],"tags":[],"table_tags":[],"class_list":["post-36283","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-addiction","category-help-from-the-saints","category-other-addictions","category-saints-on-earth-and-in-heaven"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v24.6 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Ways to Avoid Playing the Victim &amp; Blaming Others - Catholic in Recovery<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/catholicinrecovery.com\/ways-to-avoid-playing-the-victim-and-blaming-others\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Ways to Avoid Playing the Victim &amp; Blaming Others - Catholic in Recovery\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"We all do it. The blame game. We tend to blame others for our faults. We start when we are quite young, blaming a sibling or even the dog for the broken lamp. This is so common that almost everyone can recall either blaming someone else or being the one getting blamed when we were [&hellip;]\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/catholicinrecovery.com\/ways-to-avoid-playing-the-victim-and-blaming-others\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Catholic in Recovery\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:publisher\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/catholicinrecovery\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2020-12-08T11:00:15+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2025-02-19T17:03:05+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/catholicinrecovery.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/12\/CIR-Blog-Images-3.png\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"560\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"315\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/png\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Chris\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:creator\" content=\"@catholic_IR\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:site\" content=\"@catholic_IR\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Chris\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"4 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/catholicinrecovery.com\/ways-to-avoid-playing-the-victim-and-blaming-others\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/catholicinrecovery.com\/ways-to-avoid-playing-the-victim-and-blaming-others\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"Chris\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/catholicinrecovery.com\/#\/schema\/person\/724f4587ec7c12445e2851524d46084f\"},\"headline\":\"Ways to Avoid Playing the Victim &#038; 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