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Check – Ins for Recovery

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Viewing 12 posts - 1 through 12 (of 12 total)
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  • #2192
    GeoffGeoff H
    Participant

    Checking in and glad to be in recovery from lust, anger, resentment and fear one day at a time. I am staying sober and feeling lots of feelings that I have to feel in recovery and need God’s help to continue doing this one day at a time. Letting go of horrible politics, disagreements, underemployment to God and I will continue in doing my part in recovery. Also working on letting go thoughts of acting upon lust in the future by taking this one day at a time. I will commit to another day.

    Have a blessed day,
    Geoff

    #2220
    ChuckChuck Anonymous
    Participant

    test

    #2221
    ChuckChuck Anonymous
    Participant

    Checking in here

    Doing much better today – went to a zoom AA meeting and the topic was something very relevant to me for that day. Subject was irritable and discontent. I shared that we are sober by maintaining a fit spiritual condition, and I can get irritable and kind of develop crap attitudes towards others around me which ruins the fit condition and threatens my sobriety. I shared that I can’t have these kinds of attitudes towards others. I absolutely must overcome these or I will find myself struggling. Its not a sort of, kind of, somewhat nice thing to do – it is mandatory that I overcome this. People shared about praying, going for a walk, getting to the root cause of the problem or going to meetings as means to manage this. I had been struggling to get rid of the crappy attitudes towards others yesterday, and I finally overcame them last night. I think the meeting helped a lot.

    Anyway, that is my check in

    #2222
    GeoffGeoff H
    Participant

    Good morning,

    I appreciate the share above.

    Checking in with another day of sexual sobriety from porn, masturbation and not visiting massage parlors and prostitutes for years now. I am sober for 13 days and thank God for the little bit of sobriety I do have and it feels as if it has been much longer than that. My addict is doing push-ups for the future and today is all that counts and I need God’s help so that I don’t entertain my lust and break sobriety again. I am also letting go of attitudes that want to come up and put me in a bad place.

    Have a blessed day,

    Geoff H

    #2228
    ChuckChuck Anonymous
    Participant

    Not doing so well today. Vertigo is making me nauseous. Really tired & dragging – didn’t exercise or pray much this morning. So I have a concern about physical discomfort and pain for today. I guess I will do a lot more praying at lunch as well as on the way to work, but my day really needs to be focused on other people’s needs and what I can do to serve. I am not sure what else.

    #2233
    ChuckChuck Anonymous
    Participant

    Today will not be easy. Sitting here thinking what will be the obstacles to maintaining the “fit spiritual condition” the AA Big Book describes, and I need to be on my guard to accept whatever anger or criticism my wife sends my way and respond with sincere charity and seek opportunities to be of service to her. In order to do this, I have to spend a good amount of time in prayer. I won’t do well if I don’t spend at least 15 minutes praying in the morning, afternoon and evening. I also need to exercise to prevent irritability

    #2234
    GeoffGeoff H
    Participant

    Checking in and glad to be sober from lust today, thanks be to God. Struggled a bit last night with looking up some images accompanied with starting and stopping of masturbation and felt very had when I did this. I got on a meeting this morning which helped and working on a mantra of letting go and letting God in as I have been struggling with this process for awhile now. The hardest part of this is really letting it go when the rubber meets the road and when I do that it gives me a good reprieve. Inner conflict around career, crazy world events, and not staying sober consistently and the female image wherever I go are very big triggers. I am praying for God to continue walking though this with me and for my willingness to be drawn upon situation by situation. Me alone with lust just never works and especially when I analyze it too much. I am also in the process of letting go of future plans of acting upon lust and just need to stay on today. I hope everyone has a Happy Memorial Day!

    Have a blessed day,

    Geoff

    #2238
    GeoffGeoff H
    Participant

    Good evening,

    I am surrendering thoughts and desires in wanting to act upon lust and slowly the thinking is diminishing. I know I have been stressed a bit with my underemployment status as a temporary and now have been laid off for over 2-months with a tentative return date. I have been actively looking for better paying jobs and have faith in this process. I have been praying to let go of this and turn it over to God and that has been working the more I do it along with the porn-shop of the mind and for our country to be restored again. God will take care of this and I need to continue drawing upon the willingness to let go of temptations. Even after a good number of years of recovery from this I have experienced a growing up process and the ability to know how my lust addict mind works and too keep it simple. I will commit to today again.

    Have a blessed night,

    Geoff

    #2239
    GeoffGeoff H
    Participant

    Checking in with recovery and staying sober for another day. Keeping myself in routine is good since I am not working at this time. I am currently grateful for the desire to continue working my program in letting go of lust as it felt fairly high when I got home just 45 minutes ago so I decided to check in here and turned on a Crackling Fire video. Without taking the actions on this it won’t work. Problem is I am getting very angry at people that I see out there still with fear over this situation our country is going through. It is terrible what has happened but I look forward to things getting back to normal especially with going back to Church in person this weekend. I am also using this time to continue to research companies that offer better paying opportunities. I am not too tolerant anymore of being under-employed which has been a motivator for me to pick up the pace with looking and applying to more jobs. One thing I have always hated about this process is having all types of recruiters call and email on jobs, which is a lot of short-term roles that could go permanent and sometimes is a good thing but can cause more stress with making decisions. Getting jobs directly is the best way from past experience. My current return date to my temporary role now is June 15, 2020, which is crazy, but has given me the opportunity to continue being proactive with my time. Other than that I do need God’s help to let go of some lustful scenarios that come up in my head around certain types of women. I will see my Counselor tomorrow morning, which is a good accountability measure and continuing to journal including gratitude lists, phone meetings and going for walks daily. I am signing off and committing to another day of recovery.

    Have a blessed night,

    Geoff

    #2242
    GeoffGeoff H
    Participant

    Checking in with being grateful for 2 – days of clean time from lust. I struggled with crossing boundaries on Friday morning to the early afternoon on my cpu and ended up having a slip. I am recommitting to my recovery and really letting go and letting God one day at a time and staying accountable to my Counselor and taking the actions to stay sober from this problem. This could have been much worse if I hadn’t put some distance right away from this as I did go back on and was shopping for hooking up online with different types of women and did not follow through with this as this is too scary for me to go back to. I did put the filter back on my cpu which gives me a sense of security. On a better note I am not making any plans to break any boundaries on this. I am also challenging myself to just feel the feelings on this and to trust that God will take care of it as I do my part. Until later I will commit to another day of sobriety and will pray to keep this simple as complicated as my mind wants to make this. I do thank God for the recovery I have from lust and to be recoiling from it especially after indulging in porn and having one slip. This too shall pass along with all the craziness that is going on in the world at this time. I just need to keep my side of the street clean. Not too mention I did go to live Mass yesterday and it was a wonderful connection.

    Have a blessed day,

    Geoff

    #2423
    GeoffGeoff H
    Participant

    Checking in for July 31, 2020 and I am struggling with lust and need God’s help to let this go. Currently have relapsed with porn and masturbation within the past week. Some things pushing it has been some panic about staying sober and not staying on one day at a time. Some other stressors have been planning on going back to school, loneliness, hotter weather, underemployment and overall some acceptance issues and not making sobriety my priority. I am trying to short circuit a full on slip today and since I initially relapsed last week. I have not gone all the way but need to cut my losses and not go back to looking at porn for the rest of today. I am grateful for being very faithful to God and know that I need to do something different. I did have 55 days of sobriety before I relapsed. I am going to the Adoration Chapel in a short while and then I need to place the filter back on the CPU.

    Have a blessed night,

    Geoff

    #2424
    GeoffGeoff H
    Participant

    Glad to be checking in with sobriety and recovery today. Finally placed the filter back on my CPU and feel a sense of relief. I am so glad I did not give into the porn last night as I usually do when I am taking it in and struggled with some starting and stopping of masturbation. Through God’s grace I was able to pull away from it and went to bed last night and just reset my sobriety to today, which is fine. It was enough last week when I completely relapsed to porn and do not need to experience more pain by telling myself lets make it official again. I cannot afford anymore pain from this obsession and thankful for that realization. Going to Church tonight at 5pm and then get something to eat later.

    Have a blessed day,

    Geoff

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