Reply To: Perpetual Struggle

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AnthonyAnthony Buttigieg

Hi Bayre! Thanks so much for the kind words. I can’t get enough of the journey home either! Lol. To answer your question the last year of my drinking was horrific! Black outs, really really bad hangovers I don’t think I wanted to end my life but I didn’t want to live anymore either, I couldn’t see any objective purpose for being alive and felt hopeless and defeated. When I got to AA I was frightened that it wasn’t going to work for me and was focusing on the difference rather than the similarities, few other members to be frank were really giving me shits. I thank God today I met one person who told me that AA is like anywhere else, good people bad people, sick people but we all share a common problem and that’s alcoholism and everyone who had a desire to stop drinking, had a right to be a member. So I focused on the similarities rather then the difference s. That’s when I began to heal. Some of the strategies people use to keep sober and ideas of a higher power would have lead me to drink ! So I had to find what works for me which was having to find what’s objectively true. This lead me to the Catholic Church. But others are happy just not to drink and it’s working for them so that’s great and that’s what makes this program so successful, the openness, honesty and focus on alcoholism. I’m by no means saying that people never get sober outside the 12 step program. But there are many cases of members in the clergy that couldn’t get sober on prayer and Church practice alone, they needed the fellowship of other recovering alcoholics. There is a fransican monk who attends meetings in my area that will tell you this himself. However for my own experience I needed more then Aa meetings to continue growing and healing which is were the Church has played such a important role and I’m not shy to share that at a meeting. I can totally relate with how you can go for long periods without a drink then out of nowhere think “ I recon I could have a couple today” and then drink. This happened to me time and time again before I really applied the 12 steps into my life. I can sometimes have the thought pop up on a rare occasion but I truely believe it’s God and doing regular meetings that stops me from picking up. Hearing other people’s stories and helping the newcomer that walks in the room. I have no doubt in my mind that I would be in prison today or dead if it wasn’t for the 12 step program that God is working through. Yes AA is definitely based on strong ancient Christian principles. Bill Wilson one of the founders had a spiritual director named Fr. Dowling, a Catholic priest. It’s been said that bill did his 5th step with Fr. Dowling. So I wouldn’t call AA Catholic as such, because it’s focus is recovery from alcoholism, but the information I’m giving is historical. It’s based on Christian/ Catholic spirituality and principles, wether people in AA like it or not. Love this site too! Love being able to talk to Catholics in recovery. Bayre talking to you has helped me a lot.